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| Wow, Xanga works differently from how I remember. I'm pretty sure that I don't like it. Not much has been up lately. Sometimes, I really wonder what goes through the heads of some people. Lots of times, I come to the conclusion that very little to nothing does. Being considerate, remembering what happened LAST time, thinking ahead, and wiping properly in the bathroom seem to be things of the past. I'm sure there are times when I'm no exception, but it just seems like a lot of people who have managed to surround me (maybe not even most, but still a lot) are completely oblivious to everything.
I've realized lately that my common negative reaction to most un-enjoyable things is annoyance. I don't get angry much, and I don't remember the last time I was sad about something. Tons of things annoy me, though. When things don't work out with classes, friends, or infatuations, I find myself most annoyed. With the exception of maybe 2 classes, a few close friends, and.. probably three girls, it's rare that I put in enough dedication to be sad or even really disappointed, but the fact that I tried at all makes it all frustrating to an extent.
While semi on the topic, I find it really annoying when people have the vocal mentality of: "I can either be your best friend or your worst enemy!" That's stupid. If everyone I met was a best friend or worst enemy, I think there would be grounds for diagnosing me with bipolar disorder. I'd rather people not take this personally, but I don't even really like nine out of ten people enough to want to see them more than once after first meeting them.
I don't understand acquired tastes, either. When I don't like something, I usually don't try it more than once in a short period of time. Maybe I'll try it after an extended wait, but then I attribute the change in taste to an overall change in my taste buds. I guess there is some sort of freaky masochism that leads people to want to try things that they don't like over and over, until they get used to it enough to delude their minds into accepting it as enjoyable.
Err.. I'm not always miserable, it's just not as gratifying or entertaining to post "yaaay, rainbows and flowers" on the internet.
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| This is my first post since the good ole 21..a-roo-ni... I felt like I needed to follow-up with something. Anyway, tons of things have changed since alcoholic legality. Let's make a list:
1) Instead of getting in trouble for being a minor in possession, I now can only get in trouble for public intoxication. It makes me feel like a celebrity!
2) I can add the numbers that constitute my age and get 3, which is a charm.
So when I said "tons" of things have changed, I meant "a couple" of things have changed.
Unfortunately, there are certain things that haven't changed YET! This list might be a little longer:
1) While I may be older, I haven't quite yet grown up. I still laugh when I hear the words "duty" and "nuts" during inappropriate situations.
2) Roofie's are still illegal. I may never be able to legally dupe a woman into having to marry me due to her pregnancy.
3) I can still be tried in court as an adult. I'm still crossing my fingers for something to happen in order for that to change.
4) John Mayer still has a career. I know it doesn't have anything to do with me, but seriously?!? Who encourages this guy?
5) I still whine... a lot. Case in point, look at this list.
How about that semester? Biochem was fun. In fact, it was so great that I decided to retake it another semester. My professor decided to make the class more difficult than it ever has been, because he wanted to leave this university with a trail of tears behind him. Part of me wants to go into a fit of RAGE; the other parts agree.
My luck with the ladies is getting better. I get rejected so much less often when I cut back on asking them out. Everyone on this campus is taken, so mentally undamaged that they're unavailable, has bad taste and doesn't want me, doesn't look decent enough, or a combination of two or more of these scenarios. There's just no luck for a real man at UTD.
Well, aside from all of this negativity, there has been some good. Anyway, that's enough for now.
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| I traveled North with a good friend,
For her life it would be the end,
Just trying to warn you in advance,
In case you have to wet your pants,
I wanted to go up to sky-dive,
Guess I want to feel alive?
We wrote our wills and said our sins,
Then in the plane we buckled in,
I jumped out first from the airplane,
She caught up fast, it was insane!
We shared a moment in the sky,
Not knowing soon that she would die,
I chose to deploy my chute first,
Alas, I found my pack was cursed,
Luckily my friend was there,
For my life she chose to share,
Her pack and for that I am glad,
Though what happened next made both us sad,
As we landed in a tree,
Appeared a hive of killer bees,
The angry bees came to attack,
We cut some cords to ditch the pack,
There was once I tripped and fell,
My friend stopped to save me well,
We found a cave to lose the bees,
But in that cave we couldn't see..s,
We heard a sound and saw some light,
Before we knew the cave was bright,
A circle of fire surrounded us,
Understandably we threw a fuss,
A monster appeared to our front,
My first thought was to ditch the continuous bad luck that we were having,
The monster asked if we taste good,
I bit my friend to see if we would,
I told him no, though it was a lie,
He said, "Hmm.. well, let me try"
And when he came in for a bite,
My friend fought back with all her might,
The beast fell down in utter pain,
In the circle opened a lane,
We followed the lane to the outside,
And looked for a new place to hide,
Suddenly we looked ahead,
And saw a tiny little shed,
The bees and monster looked for us,
But found each other and started a ruckus,
We entered it and looked out thurr,
And saw the bees fight the monster,
After hours of looking ahead,
We saw that they were both dead,
We were safe and left the place,
And ran to safety just in case,
Early in the poem I told a lie,
Since my friend didn't really die,
She would have but the ending needed a switch,
Cause after the last poem some of you were whiny little bits of joy..
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| 04 Aug 2004
01:57 Remember all that crap we, as children, were fed by authority about being passive in all situations and putting up with everyone else's crap, basically in general being a pussy? Well, I do. That is why I am going to help the children of America by giving my own, true survival guide to life's problems, big and small. I'll start by introducing a problem (Q) , showing what they told us to do (A), and giving the real man's approach (B):
Q1: What could you do if a kid keeps hitting you after you told him to stop?
A1: Tell someone. Your parents. teacher. school counselor.
B1: Why did you tell him to stop in the first place? If it was me, I would have cut the ho. If it is too late for you to snap his neck while he isn't looking, find your parent's wallet, take some money, pay a dude to buy a gun for you, and point it at the biatch.
Q2: Who would you tell if you felt sick and couldn't reach your parents?
A2: Have another adult to call on (perhaps a neighbor. teacher, or relative).
B2: Throw up on the biggest kid you know. It might not do much for your sickness, but it will definitely give you some street cred. If you have trouble handling the dude after you are done, look to the previous B answer.
Q3: What would you do if a close relative or friend of the family kept touching the private parts of your body. (yeah, I know)
A3: First, tell that person to stop, that you don't like it, and tell someone who listens and can help you, like your parents or teacher.
B3: To start with, it is probably your parent(s), teacher, or priest that is touching you to begin with, so screw telling them. Demonstrate what your harasser (haha, I said ass) is doing to you to an opposite sex friend. Maybe you should video tape it and send it to the internet. That way, you get used to it and get paid for it. With the money, you can save up for a gun or a Dodge Viper or something
Q4: How would you react if some of your friends wanted you to try a new pill they have been taking for thrills?
A4: Be honest in stating that you don't want to try it. If they make fun of you for being scared. they may not be very good friends and you can feel o.k. about avoiding them.
B4: Don't be a pussy. Take the pill, or better yet, save it for later and slip it in someone's drink. Probably a person that won't touch you. If you are too scared to take a pill, you probably aren't getting laid any other way.
Q5: If someone you know tells you s/he is being hurt, how can you help that person?
A5: Listen, Believe what s/he tells you. Help them tell an adult who can act on the matter.
B5: Don't believe them, they are lying. Instead, kick his/her shin until s/he falls and spit on them. Then ask who is hurting them. Then, offer to help them for a small reward and use the reward money to buy a gun and put them out of their misery.
Q6: What would you do if a neighbor kept hanging around and staring through the windows when your parents weren't home?
A6: Tell your parents as soon as possible and perhaps call the police.
B6: Be flattered that someone would take time out of their busy schedule to take interest in your life. Clearly, your parents don't love you enough to stay home with you. Maybe you need a shower.
Q7: Who can you talk to if you feel someone at school is taking advantage of you?
A7: Your parents. the principal. the school nurse. teachers. some adults who can help.
B7: Talk to a detective that can help you find your balls.
Q8: How can you tell a boyfriend or girlfriend that you don't want to do what s/he wants without hurting his/her feelings or being mean?
A8: Say exactly how you feel. Tell that person you still like him/her but not what they want to do. Sometimes people will feel hurt anyway but we don't have to be mean.
B8: There are two different solutions to this, depending on your gender. If you are a dude, reach really really far back with your stronger arm over the opposite shoulder, and backhand the ho like she stole your gun. If you are a girl, and he doesn't slap you, he isn't really a man and you should dump him.
Q9: Who should you tell if you heard someone outside your hosue tampering with the door locks or windows?
A9: Your parents and the police.
B9: If you don't already have a gun, find the NRA or the nearest militia. But seriously, get a gun if you don't have one.
Q10: What would you do if your brother or sister asked you for money in order to run away.
A10: Ask why s/he wants to run away. Listen. Chances are there are solutions to their problems. Running away from a problem is no solution at all.
B10: Tell them that you spent all your money on your semi-automatic pistol, but make sure that you mention that they can borrow it to play a quick game of russian roulette on their own.
You might not believe this, but all of the Q's and A's existed before my endless stream of creativity. I found them in an old folder from elementary school.
-Nirtan Empires
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| So, I've been thinking... and my thoughts generally tend to be out
there a bit, so I've cited a few references that I feel to be suiting
to fit my thoughts. Anyway, plenty of people are mature enough to not
snicker with someone releases gas from their butt and it makes a
sound... not me, but plenty of other people are (or at least claim to
be (1)). However, I haven't yet met the man or woman that can dull his
sense of smell enough to ignore such vile stenches. So how is it that
there is almost always some incredibly inconsiderate fellow around that
feels the need to produce such an odor know that everyone will feel the
need to either kick them out literally (as in with their shoe) or leave
themselves? (1) Maybe they don't realize that this is how outside
parties feel about their internal happenings becoming external
happenings? I feel as though this could cause horribly bad things to
happen. Throughout history, this has been a constant conflict that has
concluded in horrible, something violent, endings, and never has it
resulted in a happy ending (not refering to asian massage "happy
ending" where it's really just a glorified handjob, more like a 101
Dalmations "happy ending", despite the fact that half of those dogs
probably got put down for being so freaking hyper all the time, but
that's a different story altogether).
Theorists speculate that Julius Ceasar, Gandhi, John F. Kennedy, Bill
Gates, and John Mayer are horribly gassy people. (2) The first three
were assassinated, there was an assassination attempt for Bill Gates
involving a pie. The case with John Mayer has inexplicably distorted
sound waves that exit his immediate vicinity which makes his voice
unique in what music theorists commonly refer to as "bad". In fact,
some expert analysists started using the name "John Mayer" as an
adjective used to describe "no talent asshats". (3) Ceasar was pissing
off his Senate by not even trying to controll his gas outtake, because
he thought he could get away with it being emperor and all. Ever wonder
why fighting ceased in India when Gandhi went on hunger strikes? It's
because he stopped excreting horrendous smells, and once he started
eating again, they came back! (4) And where to start with Kennedy?
One of our greatest presidents, he supposidly got us to the moon, tried
to kill Castro (Castro didn't have a history of gas though, he was just
a normal communist caught in the middle of an unfortunate Cold War),
had an affair here and there with people like Marolyn Monroe (who can
blame him?), and got capped because he wanted to wave to the American
people rather than hiding in a bulletproof limo. He couldn't have been
that bad, right? What many historists fail to mention is that he had a
disease.. a disease called Gastrodoritus, which causes the most
god-awful smell to emit from him when he "lets 'er rip". (5) Kennedy
assassination conspiricists have recently been flocked towards the idea
that THIS was the cause of his demise. While no one can truely be sure,
who doubts conspiricists nowadays?
Now for sources:
1. I hear people say it all the time
2. Big Book of Gassy People by Ismel (II) Much
3. The Truth Behind John Mayer's Suckery by Enee "Won" Witabrane
4. Indians with Too Much Time by Anonymous *looks around*
5. Disease that Involve Farting by Ismel (II) Much
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